How Doing, stopped my was and they thinking

I suppose, in highschool I first imagined being a writer, but I never committed.Adjusting Sensibility allows me the opportunity to practice, rehearse and communicate more effectively.

This morning Bruce Kasanoff’s  suggested “repetition is powerful, use it wisely.” It was a point I emphasized in my Goldilocks is a genius talk last week.  After spending my weekend struggling to write, it also reminded me that practice  always helps, but it’s not enough.

Purpose matters, and the ability to see differences yourself that yields progress.

I never learned grammar rules well. They annoyed me, they got in the way of my thinking aloud and desire to be creative, and imaginative in my writing.  Today, I read a note aobut courage and another about It’s more likley that unconsciously I was insecure, less confident about everything.  I did many things, and the easy stuff that came and most naturally, happened out of school in organizations and with people.

Today, maybe there’s a university that grants degrees in leadership, especially since so many claim to be effective teaching the subject. Personally, I fought taking on the mantle and continue to enjoy being a collaborator. I now know that leadership terrifies me, becasue I beleive leaders need to be clear in their vision, confident in their situational assessment and unwavering in their commitment to their team and the mission.

Several  times I held project and team leadership responsibilities, I found myself sabotaged. My team didn’t challenge me or push back, it was my associates and peers in other roles or parts of the organization, and even at times my own boss.It wasn’t that they disagreed. More often it was the changes that the success of my intiaitve implied for them, changes they didn’t want to make, even if the changes actively improved the organization’s positioning.  Now occassionally, they had better sight lines than I did. Just as often however they didn’t want to ponder the implications and preferred to shut down the intitiave, impede changesthat disrupted the smooth steady flow of their own projects.

Professionally, and personally, I had been taught not to speak out of turn, and that it was best to find the right time and place to raise objections.  In other words, a public meeting may not be the first time to challenge a colleague or a superior.

Many people are surprised most by the passion and persistence that occassionally emerges when I do feel in command of my subject. It rouses and inspires them.  Unfortuanately I don’t feel that consistently, so many who know me, see and experience something else. That voice needs confidence to speak, it needs purpose.  I may love an idea but until I know what to do with it, then it’s just a vague notion.

At present, in particular this post, I decided to share how using my voice in prose also helped me overcome confusion and reconcile inconsistencies in my thoughts and actions.

It’s not what you know, but what you practice that counts

Grammar annoyed me. It was a dull subject with seemingly annoying rules and my bad experiences stopped me from learning. I did well in school but not as well in English, becasue I  never fully assimilated the basic lessons. Rather than learning how to improve, I got angry at all my mistakes and lost my confidence and along the way muffled my voice too.

I recognized great writers by thir prose and persuasive narrative but never saw the effects of the underlying grammar unless, the author exaggerated it for affect.  My inability to see these signs meant I didn’t try and work them out for myself until decades later.  My writing remained less effective, less convincing and less committed.

In contrast, my graduate professor in statistics challenged my lack of commitment to learning and excelling in her classs.  I spent hours in the math library learning the notation to keep up with the matrix algebra that execeeded my formal math studies in basic calculus. I learned to feel the different effects that only practice produces. Likelihood tests and probability colors my thinking and establishes clarity that today I appreciate as akin to the effects of active prose.

Our will, our intention and our purpose expresses the likelihood of our followthrough.My senior year in highschool I took an advanced literature course from an english teacher my oldest brother revered. I like to think she drummed out the word I from my prose.

For decades, the pronoun One replaced I. Yes, it was gender neutral and I think that was its one saving grace. In additio to the distance it added to my voice, I no longer expressed my thoguhts or feelings but rather the thoughts, feelings or actions by those omnipresent, or omnicient–the ones.

It’s fine to use third person. After all, this voice appears most most commonly in storytales. Goldilocks does, so do the bears, and so does Red Riding Hood, Hansel and Gretel every other character. What makes the story work for me is it’s use of active voice, that allows the reader to play along AS IF they too were that character. It’s in the active, direct prose that I now recognize but missed understanding and thus failed to practice.

More directly, my present experiences and payment for writing made me up my game.  It made me commit to learning and understanding.

Let me correct that. The faith of the marketer who offered me the job, in fairness had seen some of my writing but he also demonstrated the value of great prose.  After submitting a very hasty first draft long on creativity and very short on grammar, I got a single request.

“Tighten it up.”

I had no idea what they meant,what I needed to change or where to begin. The last thing I needed to do was show my incompetence, so  I turned to my colleagues of experienced writers to guide me.

One buddy asked “what’s your process?” I couldn’t answer that questions which led to a series of additional questions on both sides. The more I didn’t know the sooner I realized the depth of my inexperience.  The downside of blogging? It’s the absence of direct feedback that makes you a better writer.  Conceptually I knew about thesis statements but had never consciously tried to use them in a cogent, organized fashion.

Suddenly, years of prompts and suggestions made by lawyers and other active readers of my writring flooded back to me.  My arguments were delayed, I had been a weak communicator becasue I overwhelemed the reader with detail and never disclosed my purpose clearly up front.

After struggling mightily alone, a friendly call arrived just in time.  Another friend and occassional collaborator offerd to coach me through.  She held my hand, read my prose and succinctly pointed to examples of indirect reasoning and endless rationalization; that could be summarized in a short direct phrase. She helped me see how my sentences would benefit from  better grammar practices.  Her beautuiful quick examples used the active voice. Another lightbulb helped me see more clearly what I needed to do and how to do it too!

Suddenly, I could see my poor grammar, my awkward phrasing, and my habits encircling  a point and take the steps needed to correct them.

Tighten became a directive for simplicity. I could see where I confused presenting a fact and thinking aloud. My readers didn’t benefit from learning  my situation that led up to the analysis, they cared about the analysis.

In closing, it’s easy to read good writing and it’s easy to understand too. If you know what you want to say, then you can write it, and you shouldn’t be shy about it either.

If you don’t then whatever you write will waste yhour reader’s time.

Blogs are fine for thinking out loud, exploring what you want to say. Do yourself and your readers a favor, before you hit publish, take your closing points and put them at the top.  Then reread to be sure the prose you keep follows and supports that point.

Aat the very least, maybe, like me, it will allow you the practice needed to improve your writing.  Why else do you blog, if not to communicate your thinking more effectively?


When Technology doesn’t work

If like me, you have a fairly stable morning routine. The usual sequence of activities from the time you step out of bed until you step out the door, or in my case step into your home office. Each takes different amounts of time but nothing is too complicated that you need to do any active thinking. The result is your mind is free to wander in any direction, alight on any object or thought that it finds interesting.

Technology likely plays a supporting role, whether its the alarm that goes off to wake you, make your coffee, or the phone that connects you to the world through email or news sites. The support role isn’t supposed to hijack but rather simplify, and reduce unnecessary steps.

For example, I used to have an all in one grinder-coffeemaker. I merely added the beans and the water, and set the timer. Its automation saved me a little effort.  It spared me a few steps: hitting the button to grind the coffee ,empty the grounds into the coffee filter, press start. (Remember either way I added the water, and the beans.) It saved me maybe a minute or two, when it worked.

The key to support? It’s got to be reliable. In this case, more elaborate automation increased chances of breakdown as well as mechanisms that needed cleaning. When it didn’t work, the few minutes I saved daily, and some were taken back.

Worse I couldn’t anticipate when the breakdown would occur, and inevitably the disruption to the expected regularity of my routine proved intolerable. So, I changed back.

I’m at that point with MS Word and close to the edge with everything about Microsoft’s operating environment. I’ve not been an Apple user, until the iphone was part of an irresistibly good offer years ago.

Today, I am using an older version of an open source program called OpenOffice. Oracle bought them, but I never had to pay Oracle. The application sits on my desktop, it isn’t linked to the cloud and it doesn’t pop up with assistance when my fat, less accurate fingers hit the wrong keys. BEST of all it doesn’t stop my train of thought as I’m typing by doing me the favor of saving. Or if it does it still doesn’t stop me from continuing typing.

This past week I was very busily writing a rather complex article. Because I’m not that organized, I like to synthesize my ideas in real time using the blank page in front of me surrounded by lots of other open documents, and websites. After the first draft was out of my head , I saved it. Sounds simple enough, right? Saving, now becomes a more complicated choice than simply titling it and placing it in a folder for future retrieval. I had too many choices, partially my own fault—I did admit to disorganization right?

I have an account on DropBox that one of my client prefers I use because we share lots of big documents and images, and it’s just easier for version control.

Microsoft in its competitive wisdom, now offers its own cloud and that too becomes an open office option…presuming I remember the password or have the OS remember it for me, on every device I use.

Lest I forget there are the different drives on my computer, I could save to a portable thumb drive device? Or the hard drive on the computer or the home network that allows me to save to my home office desktop.

Of course the different options come with different advantages. At the moment none of them were relevant, as I was just in draft mode and operating under a self-imposed deadline to preserve my sanity.

So I decided save to the cloud, its safer and I won’t have to worry about what drive it’s on?

That turned out to be a bad move.

Remember the coffeemaker story and the trade-off on time savings that went upside down on me? The same happened with this project.

In full disclosure, the topic which had owned me for a few weeks was the notion of readiness and positioning with respect to technology advantages.

I don’t know of a single writer who doesn’t find themselves pausing every now and then to gather their thoughts before continuing to organize the words. I’m older and still use long hand and then transcribe my own scribbles, which means there are lots of fits and starts due to difficulty deciphering my own handwriting. Then again, I may also decide to put my typing skills to work as I’m doing now, looking at the screen while trying to organize my thoughts.

Again, it’s the natural fits and starts in the writing process that Microsoft’s engineers seeking to support the task, or simplify and anticipate got completely wrong.

Ok, I just saw open office do the same thing. It tried to anticipate what I wanted to type. Perhaps yo too have experienced these new features. I begin to spell a word only to have it suddenly appear in its full form highlighted in blue. I have no idea how to do something with this information. Am I supposed to use it to avoid spelling errors? Or (yep the system just corrected the o and capitalizing it for me) ignore it. If I’ve managed to describe the problem well at all you too should feel a bit irritated and frustrated, or at least empathize with mine.

You see I really want to focus on my own thoughts and getting them out. I don’t want more distractions or suggestions popping up at me. It’s why I still prefer long hand and the absence of automation. Sure I can save myself some time by typing my drafts directly into the computer, they may even be more readable. But I can’t afford the distraction or disruptions…even if as I just noticed the suggested words appear relevant.

Again, I’m not looking for a collaborator when I type. I’m merely trying to express myself. Did you get that? I want to express MY thoughts, MY ideas, MY word choices.

When I need an alternative I am happy to take the extra time to open up the thesaurus, or do a google Define to get other ideas. I want my dumb typewriter back, PLEASE.

WHEN I’m ready for your assistance, I’ll ask.

I Business I keep hearing the phrase to best to go ahead and ask to be forgiven later then to wait for permission.

The biggest offense Microsoft made, was having a ridiculous inefficiency set of tools. Rather than allowing me to type and save the document in the background, it froze the screen and swapped the cursor for its spinning wheel to tell me to hold on. So after fighting with this for a few days, I re-saved the document to my hard drive. Guess what it didn’t stop the problem. Worse the document would literally jump, when it was finished. The contents on the screen would shift sometimes a few pages.

How exactly they do that I don’t want to know, that it happens and that I can’t stop it, well that’s why I’m saying bye bye.

I have been typing continuously for a good hour and other than the few annoying word suggestions and auto grammar fixes, I’ve not been stopped once by a spinning cursor.

Thank you Oracle and Open Office. I’m grateful

Now I’m going to paste and post to word press. If something surprises me over there, I will let you know.

[PS, wordpress took the pasted text beautifully. Identified my spelling mistakes ad in a few minutes I was at the bottom of this input, ready  to post. SEE Technology can be well designed for the user.]